High achievers
Therapy for high achievers with ADHD, autism or both
I work with high-achieving adults, often ADHD, autistic or AuDHD, whose success has been built on a strategy that now costs more than it gives: perfectionism, overwork, and a nervous system that only switches on under pressure. Sessions are 60 minutes, £110, in Fareham, Hampshire or online, with a BABCP-accredited therapist.
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Achievement as a regulation strategy
Somewhere along the way, pressure became the only reliable way to get your brain online. The deadline, the crisis, the thing nobody else could fix. You do some of your best work at 2am, three days late, on adrenaline, and then you can't get out of bed for a week.
From the outside that looks like drive. From the inside it's a nervous system that has learned urgency is the on-switch, and it doesn't have another one. The achievements are real. So is the cost. Most of the people I see have been mistaking the adrenaline for motivation for decades.
If you were the clever one at school
Many high achievers were identified early as bright, and praised for being quick rather than for trying. Effort was never learned because, for a long time, it wasn't needed. Being capable became who you were, not just something you did.
So the first time something was genuinely hard, it didn't feel like a challenge. It felt like being found out. If you're also ADHD or autistic, sometimes called twice-exceptional, the intelligence and the difficulty will have been hiding each other for years: clever enough to compensate, struggling enough to be exhausted by it, and too successful for anyone to look closer.
Why productivity advice makes it worse
You've tried the planners, the apps, the systems, the morning routines. Each new one works brilliantly for about three weeks, because it's new, and novelty is fuel. Then it collapses, and the conclusion you reach isn't "this tool doesn't fit me". It's "I'm the problem".
The tools aren't wrong. They were designed for a brain that runs on importance and routine. Yours may run on interest, novelty, challenge and urgency. More discipline won't fix a mismatch like that. Understanding it will.
Burnout that doesn't look like burnout
You might still be performing at work. It's everything else that's gone. Weekends are spent recovering. Friends get what's left over. The things you used to love feel like one more demand.
This kind of burnout rarely comes from doing too much work. It comes from doing all of it in translation: masking, compensating, holding standards that leave no margin for being human. Rest doesn't fix it, because the rest is spent bracing for Monday.
What the work looks like
I'm trained in CBT, ACT and DBT, and accredited by the BABCP. I use them to work at the level of the pattern, not the to-do list.
Together we map your particular cycle: what switches you on, what tips you into overdrive, and what the crash is protecting you from. We look at what the perfectionism is actually for, because it's usually guarding something, and at the shame that tends to sit underneath high standards. Then we build a way of working and living that uses your wiring deliberately instead of by accident.
This isn't coaching you into being more productive. Most of my clients are already far too good at producing. It's about the person doing the producing.
If you were diagnosed late and find yourself re-reading your whole life, you may also want to read therapy for late-diagnosed autistic women.
Is this a good fit?
This is likely a fit if:
- You're successful by most measures and quietly running on empty.
- You work in sprints and crashes, and have never found a steady middle.
- You've been called gifted, bright or "so capable", and it has started to feel like a trap.
- You're ADHD, autistic or AuDHD, diagnosed or strongly suspecting it.
- You want to understand why you do what you do, not be handed a better planner.
This probably isn't a fit if:
- You want performance coaching to push harder.
- You're looking for a formal ADHD or autism assessment. That's a different service, and I can point you towards one.
- You're in crisis or at risk right now. You need a service that can hold that safely, and I'll help you find one.
Questions
Do I need an ADHD or autism diagnosis?
No. Many of the people I work with are self-identified or still waiting for an assessment.
I'm functioning fine. Is this really for me?
Functioning and being fine aren't the same thing. If holding it together takes everything you have, that's reason enough.
Is this therapy or coaching?
Therapy. We work on the patterns underneath the performance, not on getting more done.
Is this only for women?
No. This page is for anyone. The late-diagnosis page is written specifically for women, because their route to diagnosis tends to look different.
Can we work online?
Yes, and many people prefer it. It's easier to fit around a demanding job, and easier on the nervous system.
How much is it, and how do I book?
Sessions are £110 for 60 minutes. If you have pre-authorised sessions through WPA or Bupa, get in touch before booking.
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